So there you go: the last match day of the 2010-2011 season has been played, and the 18 Bundesliga teams is divided into two camps – the winners and the losers. Nevertheless, deciding which teams belong to which category is a matter of personal interpretation – and here’s mine.

“Hau den Ball ins Tor hinein!” – Bundesliga blog for the 23rd day of play

There’s one thing my coach never tired of saying to me: “Hau den Ball ins Tor hinein!” – best translated with: “Just slam it into the back of the net!” Of course, every country has got its stock footie-phrases – football isn’t a complicated game, after all. One of the classics in every language is: “Either we win today, or we get relegated”. Every professional footballer has heard that one at least once in his career; either that, or he has always played and will always play for a team that always wins the league cup – but there aren’t many players with that kind of luck. That makes the danger of dropping down a division a permanent – and exciting – part of professional football; the fear of losing is always audible in the background, like the moody music in a good thriller film. In a way, the fights at the bottom end of the league table are just as fascinating at the duels at the top.

He lurks. He is patient. Praying on naivety, choosing the right moment, he makes him move. He rarely misses an opportunity. You might wish he were not there, but ignoring him doesn’t make him any less real.

The bogeyman is no other than the team people love to hate – Bayern Munich. The Bavarians are adept at snatching titles at the last minute. Ask Leverkusen. Or, for the crowning glory of the bogeyman’s triumphs, ask Schalke.

However, in sixth place, with an indifferent start to the season, Munich are hardly cruising. Dutch coach Louis van Gaal has yet to have the expected impact. A 2-1 away victory this weekend was enough to see off Freiburg, but problems remain.