For my money, the biggest disappointment is Eintracht Frankfurt. You name it, they’ve done it wrong, and so they deserve what is looking likely to be the fourth relegation in club history. I mean, just look at them: the worst second leg to a season ever and a disastrous attempt at something approaching football against Cologne this weekend – which, needless to say, ended with them losing 0:2.

“Hau den Ball ins Tor hinein!” – Bundesliga blog for the 23rd day of play

There’s one thing my coach never tired of saying to me: “Hau den Ball ins Tor hinein!” – best translated with: “Just slam it into the back of the net!” Of course, every country has got its stock footie-phrases – football isn’t a complicated game, after all. One of the classics in every language is: “Either we win today, or we get relegated”. Every professional footballer has heard that one at least once in his career; either that, or he has always played and will always play for a team that always wins the league cup – but there aren’t many players with that kind of luck. That makes the danger of dropping down a division a permanent – and exciting – part of professional football; the fear of losing is always audible in the background, like the moody music in a good thriller film. In a way, the fights at the bottom end of the league table are just as fascinating at the duels at the top.

Imagine an exiting football season. Now double that excitement. And now add a mind-boggling plotline à la Lost. Not even close. This Bundesliga season is simply incomprehensibly and inconceivably incredible. So incredible, in fact, that after a rollercoaster ride of a season, with just two games left to play; four teams at the top are separated by just two points.

As usual, we began the season knowing Bayern Munich would win all along. But then we toyed with the idea that hyper-hyped newbies 1899 Hoffenheim could do it. They were top at the half way point, played great football, but proceeded to drop quicker than Christiano Ronaldo in the penalty area. Then when Bundesliga dinosaurs Hamburg went top, we thought they could win it too.