So there you go: the last match day of the 2010-2011 season has been played, and the 18 Bundesliga teams is divided into two camps – the winners and the losers. Nevertheless, deciding which teams belong to which category is a matter of personal interpretation – and here’s mine.

For my money, the biggest disappointment is Eintracht Frankfurt. You name it, they’ve done it wrong, and so they deserve what is looking likely to be the fourth relegation in club history. I mean, just look at them: the worst second leg to a season ever and a disastrous attempt at something approaching football against Cologne this weekend – which, needless to say, ended with them losing 0:2.

So Borussia Dortmund is now the Bundesliga champion 2010-2011. Despite there being another two match days this season, BVB’s 2:0 win against Nuremberg on the weekend put them beyond the reach of their closest rivals, Leverkusen, who lost 0:2 to Cologne. Even if the Leverkusen boys had won, though, their chances of claiming this title this season would have stayed slim.

Dortmund’s statistics speak for themselves: they have the most wins, the least defeats, and the lowest number of goals conceded – they’ve been at the top of the league table since the tenth match day without even the shortest interruption. They are a young, dynamic team, headed by great players like Götze, Großkreuz, Hummels, Sahin, Schmelzer and Barrios – and I think they really deserve their victory. Well done Dortmund!

Professional footballers have a lot in common with children – well, at least the FC Bayern boys do in any case. On the one hand, they’re unpredictable, moody, and have real difficulty concentrating on one thing for 90 minutes, as shown by their poor 1:1 performance against a much weaker Nuremberg side last week. Then again, just like children, they can be fresh, creative and full of innocent pleasure, which is what the Bayern team was like yesterday as they stormed to a 5:1 win over Bayer Leverkusen.

The 29th match day of this Bundesliga season was a day of big-name duels. There was Frankfurt-Bremen, Stuttgart-Kaiserslautern and Mönchengladbach-Cologne, all of which were fights between relegation candidates – the latter, of course, was also something of a local Rhineland derby.

There was the Bavarian derby duel, too, with Munich up against Nuremberg. Attention was focussed pretty much exclusively on Bayern’s president Uli Hoeneß, though, who had had a real go at the club’s own fans last week after they gave him some flak for wanting to save TSV 1860, the other Munich club.

Christoph Daum’s return to Bundesliga football has grabbed the headlines and suddenly, the full heat of the media microscope is bearing down on him and his new employers, Eintracht Frankfurt.

So how will this famous motor-mouth do? He is known across Germany as a talented coach, beginning his meteoric career in Cologne, then progressing onto a head coaching job at Stuttgart. He was soon back on the Rhine, helping Leverkusen become a fixture as runner-up champions. At these dizzy heights, he almost made it to the top spot as national coach, but lost it all following a sleazy cocaine scandal, fleeing to Turkey and dropping off the radar here.

If you read last week, you’ll remember me dedicating the entire text to the absolute lunacy that has swept through the Bundesliga in the last few weeks, with boards of directors running around like headless chickens and firing coaches left, right and centre.

Well, the bad news is that these chickens are still headless. Bayern München, for example, lost its Champions League round-of-16 decider against Inter Milan and ended up in stormy waters, desperately looking for somewhere to drop anchor and get back to an even keel: to do this, however, they’ll need to offload some ballast in the form of Louis van Gaal, but he just doesn’t want to walk the plank – and, try as they might, the Bavarian boatswains can’t find a replacement first mate. For the moment, he has been saved from going overboard by Franck Ribéry, who shot a winning goal against Freiburg which has at least kept Bayern on course for the Champions League next season. The map who’ll be leading the good ship München through this, however, is likely to be Leverkusen’s Jupp Heynckes.