The Berlin Messe (courtesy of Schrottie @ Flickr)

Sometimes, you could get the impression that Germany is just one big, sloppy mess. Well, that’s what you might think if don’t know much German. Even if you’re just past beginner stage, though, you could start to wonder if Germany is as modern and secular as it first appears: every city seems to have a huge “mass” that it’s very proud of. Yes, that’s right: no German city, even in the generally protestant North, is complete without its Messe.

My flatmate is either dyslexic or has a better knowledge of English than I thought…

So I’m now a quarter of a century old! 25 – 2, 5. Yep, that’s right, yesterday I had my biggest birthday since my 21st, and probably the last one I’ll be able to look forward to without hot sweats and panic about losing the last remainders of my youth.

Having said that, now that I’ve experienced three birthdays in Germany, I can say that I won’t have any problems turning thirty here; because if there’s one thing Germans understand, it’s how to feiern a Geburtstag – and I’m not just talking about alcohol consumption here, although that too is involved.

Today, we’re going to talk about toilets in Germany. Again. Now, since I’ve already blogged once for you guys about German attitudes to toilets, you’d be well within your rights to ask whether I’m some kind of faeces-freak: and the answer is no, I’m not crazy about toilets; but the Germans certainly are.

So, you’ve been warned. If you’ve got a weak stomach, you may want to stop reading now. If, however, you don’t want to be surprised and confused when you use a German toilet for the first time, then you might as well sit tight and read on while we, er, plumb the depths of everyday German living.

Kurze Straße in Düsseldorf

Germans will often tell you that they live in a boring country – even while you’re sat there having a great time in it. They just can’t help themselves; they love complaining. Then again, if there’s one thing Germans like more than complaining, it’s solving the problem they’re complaining about. This is why citizens of the Federal Republic are, in terms of percentage of time spent abroad measured against the whole population, the most travelled nation on earth.

Flickr: mprinke

Despite what you might think, the fact that the words “Germany” and “green” both begin with “g” is more than just an interesting linguistic coincidence based on English taking the Latin Germania for Germany and saving the native Deutsch for describing the Dutch. No: even shrouded in winter snow, Germany is a green, green country – and we’re not just talking pine forests and verdant hillsides, either, as numerous and pleasant as they may be.