Professional footballers have a lot in common with children – well, at least the FC Bayern boys do in any case. On the one hand, they’re unpredictable, moody, and have real difficulty concentrating on one thing for 90 minutes, as shown by their poor 1:1 performance against a much weaker Nuremberg side last week. Then again, just like children, they can be fresh, creative and full of innocent pleasure, which is what the Bayern team was like yesterday as they stormed to a 5:1 win over Bayer Leverkusen.

As far as the club bigwigs around President Uli Hoeneß are concerned, the reason FC Bayern had been more disappointing childish than pleasantly childlike to date was the strict coaching style of the recently-departed Louis van Gaal (who actually makes his daughters call him “Sir”, but that’s another matter altogether…). One thing that would seem to bear this out is the fact that, compared to van Gaal’s harsh and exacting teaching style, replacement coach Andries Jonker is something of a woolly, “call me Andries”-style pedagogue whose hands-off light-touch has seen Bayern turn things around and take apart supposed league contenders Leverkusen by a four-goal margin.

If you ask me, that’s the great thing about the Bundesliga: you really do never know what you’re going to get. Just look at Wolfsburg; on paper, it is the second most expensive team in the league, and yet they are currently playing in a desperate attempt to avoid relegation. Their comrades in arms in the fight against the drop are, however, St. Pauli, who field what is probably the cheapest squad in the league. So all bets where off this weekend as the two sides clashed. With all that cash going around, plus the home advantage and the new coach Felix Magath, who has a strong track record as both a championship winner and saver of teams in danger of relegation, you might have thought that Wolfsburg was a dead cert to win and pull themselves out of the relegation zone. In the end, though, they only managed a lucky 2:2 draw against their underfinanced rivals – and it would have been a loss without that saved-by-the-bell equaliser in the 89th minute. It would be interesting to see what happens if Wolfsburg really do get relegated, making them the most expensive second-league side ever. Then again, they might be forced to downsize if sponsors Volkswagen withdraw their financial support, without which the team would never have gotten anywhere near the Bundesliga in any case. I’m not sure how well they’d deal with relegation at all.

If Pauli drop though, that won’t be so much of a problem for the side: shuttling between the top and the second league is, after all, what Pauli do best. Even stinging from relegation, Pauli fans will still have something to toast in a few weeks anyway, since they achieved their main goal of beating city rivals Hamburger SV back in February. In any case, what will really hurt this cult club near Hamburg’s famous Reeperbahn will be the end of coach Holger Stanislawski’s 18-year career there. Starting as a player, then manager and now working as a coach, Stanislawski is a Pauli-legend – but a legend who is seeking pastures new, most probably down south at TSG 1899 Hoffenheim. I’m not sure whether it’s the right move for him, though, because – just like the Wolfsburg side who Pauli put to shame this weekend – Hoffenheim is a team in the pocket of big-business: Dietmar Hopp, founder of software giant SAP, is trying to turn money into football success; but the Bundesliga remains just like a box of chocolates…

Johannes Göbel

Results match day 30:
1. FSV Mainz 05 – Borussia Möchengladbach 1:0
Hamburger SV – Hannover 96 0:0
VfL Wolfsburg – FC St. Pauli 2:2
1899 Hoffenheim – Eintracht Frankfurt 1:0
1. FC Köln – VfB Stuttgart 1:3
1. FC Kaiserslautern – 1. FC Nürnberg 0:2
Werder Bremen – FC Schalke 04 1:1
Bayern München – Bayer Leverkusen 5:1
Borussia Dortmund – SC Freiburg 3:0

Table:
1 Borussia Dortmund 69 P
2 Bayer Leverkusen 61 P
3 Bayern München 55 P
4 Hannover 96 54 P
5 1. FSV Mainz 05 48 P
6 1. FC Nürnberg 46 P
7 Hamburger SV 43 P
8 SC Freiburg 41 P
9 1899 Hoffenheim 40 P
10 FC Schalke 04 40 P
11 Werder Bremen 35 P
12 1. FC Köln 35 P
13 1. FC Kaiserslautern 34 P
14 VfB Stuttgart 33 P
15 Eintracht Frankfurt 33 P
16 VfL Wolfsburg 29 P
17 FC St. Pauli 29 P
18 Borussia Mönchengladbach 26 P