"Don't you du me, matey!" (Photo: Iris Jungels)

As I’m writing, it’s visibly holiday-time in Germany. The road past my house is being pounded by cars laden with luggage, bicycles, and screaming children, followed by camper vans in convoy and, every now and then, one of those really cool mobile beer-vending doo-hickeys (Bierausschankwagen) that set up near parks, lakes, museums… well, anywhere exasperated, overheated parents (or thirsty journalists) might be in need of alcohol.

And if you too are off work enjoying the sun and a cool beer at one of these things, who knows, you might just run into your boss from work, perhaps being ordered around by his or her children: “No silly, I wanted to make the dolly swim, not you. Why did you have to fall in trying to get it back out? You’re so embarrassing! And where’s my ice-cream?”

A typical place where you might start using "du" with people (Photo: Flickr/schockwellenreiter)

And while watching your boss being dressed down by their own offspring may or may not provide you with a little kick of satisfaction, it will definitely provide you with a little problem. Both you and your boss are dressed in civvies, it’s sunny, and at least one of you has had a drink. You recognize each other. You need to say hi. And this is the moment where it suddenly seems wrong to both of you to use the respectful, distant Sie-form of address, but where it’s too awkward to switch straight to the informal du.

For those of you who don’t know, German has two manners of address in the second person. Where English just uses “you” in all situations, German divides between du/ihr for children, animals, and people you know well and Sie for public situations, official contacts, and, in many businesses, your managers and senior staff. Du/ihr is used with first names, Sie with the second.

Verb conjugations… Fun! (Photo: Flickr/saschapohflepp)

Dividing ways of speaking to people according to social status is by no means odd in linguistic terms: Japanese has, I believe, eight forms of address in the second person, and within Europe, many languages still retain a polite you-form; French-speakers for example, with their tu and vous, have an innate advantage in learning when to say du and when to use Sie.

However, the very concept of changing pronouns and verb conjugations according to the status of the person being spoken to disappeared out of English several centuries back. As early as Shakespeare’s time, the informal thou-form was dying out, leaving English with just one form of address – you – for everyone.

Nevertheless, English was for many years not entirely devoid of linguistic status markers: the use of first or second names helped to uphold the distinction. Which is why in Britain, “being on first name terms with the boss” used to be a way of expressing familiarity with senior staff (in German, chummy employees are per du mit dem Chef). Well into the 1990s, at work and in service situations in Britain, people addressed each other as Mr. Smith and Mrs. Jones – just as people still address each other with Sie and Herr/Frau Meyer in Germany today.

Somewhere in the last fifteen years, though, English decided to get rid of second names, too. There are now very, very few situations in which the use of Mr. or Mrs. is required. At work, many people of my generation have never called their boss “Mr” or “Mrs”, and Tony Blair famously corrected a journalist referring to him as Mr. Blair: “Call me Tony!” This came to sum up the friendly “Cool Britannia” of the late 90s – all Oasis, Spice Girls, and Sliding Doors.

At least the Yanks still say "Mr. President"! (Photo: Flickr/sainz)

Indeed, many Germans complain that du/Sie is a social inhibitor and an obstacle to more directness and friendliness at work. Especially when in ambiguous non-professional situations with work colleagues such as Christmas parties or after-work drinks, it’s frequently very awkward to have to keep using Sie – and many people go for years waiting for the right moment to offer somebody they feel comfortable with the more familiar du-form for fear of offending.

Nevertheless, especially in offices, du is gaining ground, and there are plenty of Germans who would be willing to say Aufwiedersehen to Sie tomorrow, often confessed practitioners of Radikalduzen, best translated as “the radical use of informal address even in situations where it might be considered inappropriate.”

And several learners of German, too, would gladly wave goodbye to it. If even Germans have trouble deciding between Sie and du in some situations, they say, then how are we learners supposed to work it out?

Nevertheless, as a now fluent speaker of German, I would plead for continuing to use Sie. Whilst it may be complex, it’s a nice way to show respect for people – and an even better way to make your own personal boundaries clear. By using Sie in public, I am able to indicate that I am a customer who expects a service; nothing more, nothing less. Since I’ve been living in Germany, I get increasingly annoyed when I receive unexpected correspondence and calls from people and organizations in Britain and America whom I don’t know and don’t frequently work with. My mother and my friends call me Brian, not someone trying to sell me a car.

Germans still don't liked being "duzed" by their politicians, as this picture shows. The slogan addresses the passer-by with du, the graffiti reads translated: "Do we know each other that well?" (Flickr/mkorkasov)

Unfortunately, Radikalduzen is becoming more common in Germany, though. On a recent visit to IKEA, I found out that all staff in Germany have been ordered to use du with customers on the somewhat dubious logic that Swedish got rid of its polite address in the1960s. If that’s the case, I should point out to IKEA that English got rid of its familiar form far earlier and that, by that logic, they should address me using the polite form in German: “Oi, that’s Herr Melican to you, sonny, now put that flat-pack in my automobile and scarper!”

Oh yeah, did I mention that other superb reason for keeping Sie? The comedic potential of having two forms of address is huge. But that’s a subject for another post entirely…