There are a few things that those of us who’ve spent some years acquiring a language realise as we go along. For example, that it’s the everyday things that are usually more difficult to describe than complex political issues: after all, democracy in English gives you démocratie in French, democracia in Spanish and Demokratie in German. But just you try telling a plumber that the seal on the drainpipe below your sink needs changing, along with the washers. That’s when you learn that the German word for rubber seal or gasket is identical to the word for poetry (Dichtung) and that the translation of washer is literally “Mother slice” (Mutterscheibe).

Birthday-boy Arjen Robben netted the decisive goal in this weekend’s top Bundesliga match between Bremen and Bayern Munich. The free-kick, taken from some 20 meters on the far right of the penalty box was whipped in – passing friend and foe in the box – and dipped in time to stroke the underside of the bar and land in the top corner.

picture alliance / Sven Simon

The Bayern winger threw his hands up in celebration and sprinted to the dug-out where Bayern coach Louis van Gaal was involuntarily lying on his back after loosing his footing in celebration. A pile-up ensued and van Gaal was left sucking an injured finger. Not that he minded – Bayern dominated the game, created chances at will and played some mouth-wateringly good football.

The Bundesliga awakened from its winter slumber. Well, at least the players did. The referee of the Zweite Bundesliga match (Germany’s second highest league) between Duisburg and FSV Frankfurt obviously still had sleep in his eyes when he awarded a goal that was none. And I really mean none. Though the outcome of the match was not affected this was probably one of the worst phantom goals ever awarded in German football..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca3FwM3DuBc

Business as usual as the Bavarian machine ground out an uncontested 2-0 home victory against injury-ridden Hoffenheim. Arjen Robben was in fine fettle running knots into the legs of the Hoffenheim defense. The result could have been a lot higher if it weren’t for Mario Gomez. The Bayern striker had chance after chance served to him on a golden platter but failed to convert. A performance that was reminiscent of his appearances at the last European Championships.

“Only the Krauts!” is not an expression of surprise a British person should get into the habit using when confronted by examples of Teutonic eccentricity. After all, “Krauts”, derived from one of the many German words for cabbage, has long been a disrespectful way of referring to Germans. Today it smacks of the nasty kind of knee-jerk anti-German prejudice purveyed by the British gutter press.

Flickr: wstuppert

Last year, there was a theory afloat in German intellectual circles stating that the number nine has a specific role in German history. The idea was that most of the major events of the German twentieth century happened in years terminating in nine: 1919 was the Treaty of Versailles, which almost directly gave birth to the declaration of the Second World War in 1939. After that, 1949 saw the division of Germany made official and, forty years later in 1989, the fall of the Berlin Wall reunified the country.