Globalization has started to blur many of the fine cultural differences between countries in the western world.  As EU standard after EU standard passes into law, standardization is becoming more and more common and acceptable.  But differences remain, despite the Euro and the spread of Starbucks and McDonalds.  The differences are in the details.  These are a few of my German favorites.

1. Animals here speak a different language.  That is, the noises they make are interpreted differently by the humans.  Some are similar to the English interpretations, though they are spelled quite differently: cows say “muh,” dogs go “wuf wuf,” and cats say “miau.”  But frogs go “quak” instead of “ribbet,” pigs go “grunz grunz” instead of “oink oink,” and when the rooster crows it says, accordingly to the Germans, “kikeriki” instead of cockledoodledo.”  I wonder what the animals themselves would have to say about all this…

2. You don’t tip waiters and waitresses a lot.  Here they receive a living wage to begin with.  Instead of the American standard of tipping 10% on the bill, Germans simply round up the cost of a meal to the next round number.  So if the bill is 5,30, you might round up to 5,50, or from 9,60 to 20 euros.

3. Trash gets sorted into “packaging,” “glass,” “paper,” “organic material” such as food), and “remaining trash.”  If you don’t sort properly, the garbage collectors might leave your trash with a note telling you to resort, and threatening to discontinue service if you do not.  (This happened once at my apartment building in Frankfurt.)  If you have big trash, such as furniture or electronic equipment, you need to call a special office and arrange an appointment for them to pick it up.  These people are serious about recycling.

4. Book titles are printed on book spines in the opposite direction.  If you look at a shelf full of American books, you would need to tilt your head to the right to view the title right side up.  In the case of a German book, it is the opposite.

5. In America each state has a specific license plate design with state name and motto emblazoned above and below the plate numbers (my favorite has always been Connecticut’s “Live free or die”).  In Germany, license plates begin with the first letter of the city where the car is registered.  A car from Frankfurt will have plates starting with “F” and a car from Munich would start with an “M.”  This is a boon to hitch hikers everywhere.

6. Warm drinks.  Warm water, warm juice, warm soda, warm beer.  No ice in the drinks at restaurants, and a very un-American lack of concern for refrigeration.  You get used to it after a few weeks.  After a few years you may discover that you actively prefer a warm beer to a cold one.  I’ve also been recommended warm beer as a cold remedy.  It goes like this: if you’re sick you drink a warm beer just before going to bed.  This makes you sweat, and, theoretically, by morning you’ve sweat out the germs in the beer-induced fever simulation.  (There is more than a kernel of truth to the German obsession with beer.)

7. Paper size.  Don’t try to put a piece of American-sized printer paper in a German printer.  The 8.5×11 (in inches) standard is dwarfed by Europe’s thinner, longer A4 letter standard.  And stationary friends, there are no three-ring binders (though I have seen four), only two-ringers.

8. There is not a separate word in German for “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.”  Instead, people use the word for “friend” (Freund/Freundin) to describe both their buddies and their romantic partners.  The difference between the two is communicated through the context and word order.  Usually, when you say ein Freund von mir (a friend of mine) you mean your non-smooching buddies, and when you say mein Freund (my friend) you mean your boyfriend.  But you can also call your drinking buddies your friends (mein Freund/meine Freunde).  What all this means is that the already confusing process of figuring out if you’re just dating or are really together even more complicated than it already is in English.

Check out further blogs about Germany and the German language by Nicolette and Brian