Flickr: mprinke

Despite what you might think, the fact that the words “Germany” and “green” both begin with “g” is more than just an interesting linguistic coincidence based on English taking the Latin Germania for Germany and saving the native Deutsch for describing the Dutch. No: even shrouded in winter snow, Germany is a green, green country – and we’re not just talking pine forests and verdant hillsides, either, as numerous and pleasant as they may be.

My wedding dress was both blue and borrowed, for whatever it’s worth in American marriage superstitions and legends. This, however, doesn’t appear to play a role in German wedding superstition, which, surprisingly enough considering Germans’ reputation world-wide for lacking senses of humor, revolves around practical jokes and public humiliation.

Until death do they part…

I’ve heard that one German pre-wedding tradition, for example, is the kidnapping of the bride by the groom’s best friend. The two go hide out somewhere, and the groom is expected to run around following clues that will eventually lead him to claim his bride.

We were married on a Friday morning. Afternoon weddings cost an extra 80 euros, and we decided we’d rather spend the cash on decadence than extra sleep. Raised on fairy tales and Hollywood romantic comedies, German wedding regulations came as something of a surprise. All the paperwork, signatures, and officially stamped forms that we were asked to trade for a wedding date. Proof that we were both single. Proof that we both lived at the addresses that we said we did. Proof that we were who we said we were. They never mentioned any of this in Cinderella…

There are a few things that those of us who’ve spent some years acquiring a language realise as we go along. For example, that it’s the everyday things that are usually more difficult to describe than complex political issues: after all, democracy in English gives you démocratie in French, democracia in Spanish and Demokratie in German. But just you try telling a plumber that the seal on the drainpipe below your sink needs changing, along with the washers. That’s when you learn that the German word for rubber seal or gasket is identical to the word for poetry (Dichtung) and that the translation of washer is literally “Mother slice” (Mutterscheibe).

Birthday-boy Arjen Robben netted the decisive goal in this weekend’s top Bundesliga match between Bremen and Bayern Munich. The free-kick, taken from some 20 meters on the far right of the penalty box was whipped in - passing friend and foe in the box - and dipped in time to stroke the underside of the bar and land in the top corner.

picture alliance / Sven Simon

The Bayern winger threw his hands up in celebration and sprinted to the dug-out where Bayern coach Louis van Gaal was involuntarily lying on his back after loosing his footing in celebration. A pile-up ensued and van Gaal was left sucking an injured finger. Not that he minded – Bayern dominated the game, created chances at will and played some mouth-wateringly good football.